A couple of days ago I was in our neighborhood P-Patch (community garden) and was greeted by one of the other gardeners with whom I am relatively newly befriended. This person is older than myself and has some health issues which prevent her from doing work that is too laborious or she has to use her oxygen tank. This however, doesn't seem to have slowed her down any. She seems to prefer to wind up having to run home and sit with her oxygen on, than to not be out with all of us working in the garden.
Now, I have come to have a soft spot for this woman whom I will call Mary (not her real name). Mary seems to have taken a liking to me, and I to her as well. She often seeks me out at the garden, and will even occassionally give me a call when I haven't been around for a bit to find out where I am. The other day when I saw Mary, it suddenly occurred to me (knowing her economic situation), that perhaps she could use some food, and since I had just come from the store I gave her some of what I had, then asked if she needed a ride to the food bank (knowing she used these resources). She immediately lit up and answered that YES, she would love a ride if I was going to the food bank. I replied that I wasn't going myself, but would be happy to bring her there. She accepted the offer and ran home to get her bags and card. All the way to the food bank she thanked me for my generosity and praised God for bringing me to her to give her a ride. I told her it was really not a big deal, but admittedly felt within myself a bit of pride that I was doing a good thing. After we got her re-registered (it seems it had been awhile since she had last been there) and got her food, she asked if we might pass the dollar store on the way back so she could pick up some gallons of water. I (rather begrudgedly) said sure but that I had to hurry now as I had some other things l still had to get done. We got her water and I brought her home. The entire trip Mary kept thanking me for helping her, saying it was hard for her to get to the food bank since she didn't drive, and telling me I was her angel. The whole process between the food bank and the dollar store took about an hour and a half. I got Mary and her groceries safely deposited at her apartment, and went home feeling happy I had helped somebody. Well today I got a phone call from Mary. She was calling to tell me that I needed to come over and pick up some food because she was cooking for me. " I made you my traditional sauce and am putting it on the spaghetti I got at the food bank. Remember Angela, that you told me I could take two packages of spaghetti (it was what they allowed)? Well, I'm making one for you!" I protested, telling her that there was no need, that she should keep the food, it was for her. "No," she says, "You are my angel, and I want to share what I have with you. I want to cook for you, to share my food with you. I want to share what I have with you." What could I say to that? "Thank you Mary." I told her. I am humbled. My friend who has so little for herself, and whose work cost her the very air she breathes, serves me out of love, out of friendship, out of gratitude for something that in reality cost me so little. I am humbled. Thank you Mary for the lesson in service. While I had served Mary out of love for her, I admit that I had some pride within myself for doing something good for her. What I carry with me now is the joy in serving Mary, and the joy she returned to me in serving me - the latter a most unexpected gift. Thank you Mary for the lesson in love, community, and what can only be called God. I am humbled.
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How do you stand on the bank of the river when the churning waters are reaching to pull you in?2/28/2013 ![]() How do you stand on the bank of the river when the churning waters are reaching to pull you in? In life we sometimes find ourselves in the middle of swirling chaos (otherwise known as a big old argument). I equate it to the rushing water of rapids. We allow ourselves to be pulled into the center of the whirling energy before we can catch our breath - hell, we probably jumped right in shoes on and all. Before we know it, there we are swirling, watching the madness without any real idea of how we got there. We are rushing down the river gasping and swallowing water. We get caught up in the energy and say and do things without thinking, maybe even without caring, but we don't really want to be there. What to do? First, take a breath and remember that stepping out of the chaos is not only possible, but is probably even the best way to not go down the proverbial creek without a paddle! Stop, that's right just stop. Stop right there in your tracks, turn around and get back on the bank of that river to safety. Stop talking, stop engaging in the swirling and spinning, and be silent for 3 long breaths. Let the water take you to a quiet place until you can swim to shore. Imagine yourself standing on that shore watching the rapids go by. Don't try to change anything about the rushing waters, just observe them.Then take another 3 breaths, and wait one long beat of the cascading flow. Exhale slowly. Now remind yourself what is important about the person in front of you. What were they saying before they stepped into the rapids? What is the real message they are trying to get across to you? Throw them a lifeline, let them know you are calmly planted on the shore and are listening. They may not hear you at first, after all they are probably still in the white water, but keep your feet in place, keep your breath centered and your voice soft. Stay on the shore and wait. You may find that the situation has defused, or you may find the other person just can't get to shore with you. They may need to thrash around more. Either way, you have calmed yourself enough to let them know you hear them. Try not to say something like, "I'll talk to you when you can calm down." or "I'll be in the other room when you get your act together." Instead try something like, "I'm going to go into the living room and come back in 15 minutes to see if maybe we can hear each other better." No blaming, just letting them know you're open. Try it. Let me know how it goes. I'll be waiting right here on this nice sunny shore watching the river flow by. OK, having said this I realize that I am opening a can of proverbial worms here - after all we are living in a country that has an obesity rate in excess of 35% (24% for our Canadian friends) and 65% of Americans (51% of Canadians) are overweight. Think about that; more than one in every 3 people in the United States is obese, and 2 out of every 3 Americans are overweight. Obese is someone with a body mass index (BMI) of greater than 30, with a weight higher than what is considered healthy for a given height, and a waist measurement greater than 35" for women and 40" for men. Let's put it in perspective - you are a women with a 35.5" waist, weigh 170 pounds and are 5' 3" - that puts your BMI at 30.1 and puts you in the obese category. How did this happen? When did we become a nation of obese people? It's a recent phenomena actually. In 1980 the obesity rate was less than half of what it is now. In 1970 it was about 13%. In my lifetime alone the obesity rate has almost tripled (and I'm not old - really!)! What does the obesity rate have to do with our planet? If we think of our planet as a living organism and it's health as integral to our own, then we must look at how we care for the earth. However, if we can't care for our own health, we may very well find it difficult to even have it on our radar to care for the health of our planet. Therefore, we must start by taking responsibility for what we put in our mouths, and that starts with the plant in the ground and how it is cared for. While you may not be able to immediately do something about the billions of pounds of pesticides, herbicides and chemical fertilizers that are used worldwide, not to mention the billions of gallons of oil that are used in producing food, you can do something today about what you put into your body, and therefore support our farmers in growing. You can even grow your own organic produce - 11.5% of pesticides are used by homeowners on their lawns and gardens - and have a direct connection with the earth and a direct contribution in caring for it. You can buy organic produce. Yes, I know organic produce is more expensive, but even those of us that are financially strapped can buy one organic local piece of fruit or vegetable per week. Though it may not seem like much, the global impact would be huge, and the demand it would create would change the way farmers operate - they are after all giving us what it is we are asking for; food that is cheap, looks consistent, and is available year-round. By eating in season as much as possible and eating organically we will make an enormous impact on the health of our planet. The more fruit and vegetables that we eat, the more we are replacing processed foods and other foods that are high in saturated fats, salt, and sugar. The more we replace these foods, the better health we will have and the more ideal body weights. So here's the challenge (you knew one was coming up right - you're on a Life Coaching website after all!): * Begin to look at what you put in your mouth, and ask yourself: "How healthy is this food?" "Where did it come from?" "What is the impact on the earth in growing this food?" * Buy at least one piece of organic fruit or veggie each week. * Grow something to eat in your own garden, flowerpot, deck, sidewalk etc., and grow it without the use of any synthetic fertilizers, pesticides or herbicides - . Use compost, organic fertilizers, seaweed extract, fish emulsion and organic methods instead. *Have at least 3 - 4 servings of fruit per day, and 5 - 6 servings of vegetables per day - yeah really!!! Little things add up and make a difference. Little things change our way of thinking and bring awareness to bigger and bigger things. Little things eventually bring us to the place of asking for big changes in our world. Start with one little thing. Do it today. Do it for you, your children and the planet. I've been thinking about this a lot lately; success, preparation and 'doing'. I've been asking myself (and my Clients) questions about what success means and what it means to move towards a goal. There seems to be a great deal of 'doing' for many of us in achieving success. There seems to also be quite a bit of endless striving and moving, and not as much reflecting, meditating, and 'being'. Society around us says we need to 'go for it', strive, sell, achieve, go after something, visualize it, know you have it already, and on and on. What I am wondering is where is the love of the journey, the 'being with' the moment, and the breathing in the now? I find that we often spend so much time in the concept of what we will have when we achieve the goal, that we forget to live and breathe, and just be happy along the way.
What is it within us that beckons us to keep moving all the time? What is it that won't allow for the stillness of sitting and staring at a sunset for 5 minutes, or just breathing and doing nothing else for 10 minutes, or even enjoying each step of the path we have chosen to put ourselves on? OK, by now you might be thinking, "Angela, I do enjoy my life, I do enjoy each step of the way." Great!! Good!! Now, how true is that? So here is the challenge; set the goal, and really define it. Don't leave anything out of that definition. Flesh it out completely. Now here is the clincher - write steps for yourself. Think of them as moments. Let the moments build, starting off small and getting bigger and bigger. Each one is achievable, yet if you were to take them out of the context of this plan they might not be, because each one builds on the last. When you've done that, breathe. Yes, really - just breathe. Look at what you just did, take it in. That was a lot of work. Give it it's due rewards, and with each time you achieve a moment from your plan do the same thing - stop, remember, look at what you just did, and breathe, just breathe. I will dare to say that success is in each moment of the journey. The end (the 'goal) is just another moment. May you breathe in your moments. Blessings, Angela This is a simple post to begin May - bring awareness to your month with just one small breath, that's all. Each day, for just one moment fully experience that one breath. Breathe it in, feel it pass through your nose, into your lungs, and through your body, and as you exhale that one beautiful breath that is life, give it back to the Source. Give that breath back to Spirit in gratitude that you are here now, in this space, experiencing this one breath. That one breath will lead to other moments, other experiences, other times of gratitude for being here on this planet to have this one full breath. Remember to breathe. Remember the Divine.
Spring has Sprung!! Spring is mostly definitely here; the daffodils are blooming, the temperatures warming and the birds are building their nests. I ask myself what will I build this year? Spring feels like the time the year truly gets into action and myself with it. This year I want to build more close relationships, travel and help more people through Life Coaching, and most especially Actor Coaching - I love Actor Coaching, oh I haven't told you about that? Well, it is a love I found in College (I was one of those late bloomers - didn't go to College until I was 28 years old - it was perfect timing actually!) and recently rediscovered. It is the most amazing feeling to help an Actor develop characters and get in touch with how to best perfect his/her craft. It is such a beautiful transformation to watch unfold - and there you go, now we are back to Spring!!! What will you build this year? How is it that late at night is when I am inspired? The stillness brings me peace, calmness, nurturing solitude that makes me want to write poems and the next great novel. Alas, my energy fades and I find I must sleep though the muse works at prying my eyes open and keeping them there. Why is it that I don’t have this same inspiration in the light of day? Could it be the distraction of life pulls me in? Perhaps if I sat long enough in one place – that is without the TV blaring, or the call of the garden seducing me, or hearing the bills crying to be paid – perhaps if I bring just one moment of the cool night into my day, I could write. Yes, I believe I can.
“When work, commitment, and pleasure all become one and you reach that deep well where passion lives, nothing is impossible.” ~ Anonymous
I started this blog because it is something I have wanted to do for a very long time, and yet here it is over 2 weeks after I started it and I am only posting for the second time. It isn't that I haven't been thinking about it. It isn't even that I haven't sat down to write on more than one occasion only to delete the little that I wrote and get up and walk away leaving an empty page. So what has been missing? Why haven't I been posting at least once a week like I thought I would? What is going on? I have been asking myself these questions and more, and what I have realized surprised me; firstly, I have used my perfectionism as an excuse to not post (as in - that isn't good enough, I need to say more or do more), then I realized I didn't make a firm commitment to myself and I didn't clarify for myself the question, "What is the reason I am doing this?" Excuses are not going to keep me moving forward. Fear is not going to keep me moving forward. The passion for the work is what inspires me. The love of creating is what moves me. My quenchless quest for understanding people, truth, light, art, and curiosity about what makes the world tick is what drives me to sit at this computer, write here and beseech you to share your thoughts with me. This blog for me signifies a step into a new chapter in my life; one that is about my commitment to art, truth, integrity, creativity and reaching out to the world. There are so many things I want us to talk about. There are so many things I have to say, and I want to hear. I invite you all to comment, post a poem, a thought, a short story, or whatever speaks to you in the moment. I am committed to being here. I am committed to begin this journey. I reach out to you, and ask.......... What is it you are committed to? “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
― Maya Angelou I welcome all of you to my website and blog at the end of this Valentine's Day. My hope is that you experienced love today and remember how powerful it is. Love heals, moves, forgives, and can even stop wars; that is my belief and that is my hope for the world. May you move forward in love on this Valentine's Day and carry it with you into the rest of your year and beyond. |